You.. got what I neeeeed... and you say he's just a friend....

For those of you who don't know the song in my subject line its Biz Markie's 'Just a friend'.  It's a song about getting played.  Everyone has been played before and if you haven't I know you will, its only a matter of time.  This isn't a post about the trials and tribulations of being played or how we get so torn up when this happens.  It's just the simple fact that people get played.  Its almost like a right of passage.  A lot of times you don't really grow up until this happens to you... you're just not aware yet or as someone people might say "he/she just doesn't get it"...  Not necessarily their fault they just don't have a clue.  And its just hard to connect with someone who doesn't have a clue.

However, there are some stubborn stubborn people out there who have been played and they still refuse to change their ways.  They just keep on repeating the same behavior over and over and over again... I for one dont have any any sympathy for these people.  And surprisingly its mostly guys.  I guess for the most part guys are idiots, I hate to say it... But a lot of guys my age they just keep trying to run through the door without checking the doorknob to see if its locked or not.  I see it sometimes and the only thing I think is "you idiot" .  I just want to slap them a couple of times and say "think things out first".

Ill give you an example:  my good friend, who I've known since 5th grade practically, met this guy maybe about a month ago.  Now my friend is a really good person, I've known her and her family for years.  She's definitely not programmed with this player mentality that some ladies have (which i dont have respect for either).  Anyways this guy asks her on a date, she accepts and is generally interested.  She fills me in on what happened a couple days later and I ask her how it went.  She says it went "alright".  Just by the tone of her voice I knew she wasn't into him.  She knew she had to tell him and she did. Not bluntly, but in words that a 27 year old man should get, understand, and accept. So what does this cat do the in proceeding weeks? He keeps asking her out to breakfast, dinners, asking her to stop by his bar where he works, gets her drinks and free beers (it is his establishment), and just trying every trick in the book!  The worst thing he does however was corner her after he knew she just wanted to be friends and in so many words professes his love to her, I even think she said on his knee.

I think we shared a pretty good chuckle at this story as she was telling me.  Now why don't I feel sorry for this cat?  Well first of all she said "friends".  Now I'm no Casanova, so I know what it feels like when a girl says this.  Tip # 1:  When you hear this word and she is using an adjective to describe you in the same sentence as this word...eject, bailout, stop trying, however you want to say it, just stop!  And as a general rule you should have known this by freshman year of high school. Secondly, instead of scaling things back and getting to know her as a friend he just chose to go straight through a locked door without turning the knob!  He was buying her drinks, taking her out, the whole nine yards.  So then after he saw that this tactic wasn't working he decides to get on bended knee?  I don't think so.  Homie don't play that. Tip # 2: this is more important than tip number one:  Never get on bended knee with a woman unless you have a ring in your pocket prefaced with many talks about marriage, life, future etc etc...just dont get on a knee dude, especially after a month. 

Ultimately a majority of the times people get played is because they allow themselves to get played.  So no, I don't feel sorry for people who do this to themselves. For me my general rule of thumb is: if you're not feeling a vibe then change the freaking song.  Its not really a hard concept to grasp.  If you saw someone literally flying through the air at a locked door trying to get through, would you feel sorry for them? No, you would laugh because they would bounce right off the door and fall on their face.  That's what happens when you don't check to see if its locked first.

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